Hi LoghanJ,

It sounds like you are in the opposite situation as some people on this board. You love two different men, and it sounds like they both love you, too. That’s pretty lucky. It sounds like you are feeling uncertain and maybe a little guilty because your relationship with your husband has reached a plateau, and now you are starting have feelings for a co-worker you dated two years before. This longing for this guy and having to see him everyday is making you feel depressed.

You shouldn’t feel bad about having feelings for other people than your husband, especially since you went through some tough times with him. Lately I have been trying to take a step back from the drama in life and look at it from a more neutral, lighthearted perspective. Yes, this relationship drama is going on in my life, but I am happy with other aspects of my life, with myself. I think if you are happy with the way you are living your life then everything else is sort of water off your back. Is there anything else about the way you are living that you wish you could change? I heard depression is a sign you are not moving on from something. You might want to make a list of things you want to change, choose one, and work toward a goal. That first step toward it is a great feeling. That’s progress, improvement, and I love that feeling.

Anyway, I just wanted to hopefully infuse some hope into the situation. There’s a lot of possible things you can do. Choose the one that will bring you the most happiness (I think you probably know what that is), and then try to decide a sequence of events that will cause the least amount of pain for both men (and yourself). Good luck!