@Anita

Thankyou for your reply! I always enjoy reading your interpretations of my writing. The poem is about a dream I had a few nights ago about somebody from school who was the absolute pits – it was like nothing had changed, he was still cruel and vulgar as he was back then. I haven’t saw him since I left school, but the dream just brought back all the feelings of bitterness, hatred and how his sick vulgar jokes destroyed my confidence back then. I don’t know why I randomly had that dream because things have been uneventful for me lately, but it kind of makes me wonder what he is like as a person now – is he still as horrible as he was back then or has he changed? I doubt he has – I don’t need to seek closure about this because I don’t see this person anymore and I’m under no obligation whatsoever to see him, but I’ve thought about how I’m not willing to play the victim anymore. When I wrote about “come to me in the spirit if you must…” – that meant him randomly popping up in my dreams, but if we were to randomly bump into each other in real life, I wouldn’t be willing to put up with his crap anymore, and boy would he get roasted.

I don’t turn the other cheek anymore, and I don’t “just ignore them because they will get bored”.

I’m not the kind of person who will actively seek out retribution but I just harbor strong vengeful feelings towards certain people, and that features a lot in my poetry. Religion and spirituality teach us that revenge is wrong, harboring grudges is bad – I’ve tried forgiveness but the feelings just resurface. I’m not going to ignore vengeful thoughts or deny them, but I’m not going to act upon them either. For me, confrontation about their behavior and brutal honesty towards a wrongdoer is my revenge.

The shock they must feel when they underestimate me, thinking I’m just another spineless doormat when I’m not. Sometimes I let them try, I don’t immediately react to their insults or abuse but I’m waiting for the right moment. They walked right into a trap and if they don’t back off, boy they are going to get it…

I know this is painting me in a really vindictive negative light but I’m just being honest about how I feel towards people who think they can have a go. I’m not scared anymore.

Have you ever read Stephen King’s “Carrie” or watched the film starring Sissy Spacek?

Joe