Hi Franny,

There is a ton of anxiety in your life right now that I hope that when you read this, you are embraced with comfort, peace, love, and happiness.

You said, “I was constantly obsessing over him – stalking on Facebook to check his online status, waiting and checking for his Whatsapp messages, constantly stalking him / his friends on social medias.” I think that what you said is a precursor to serious problems in a relationship, even though there obviously other factors affecting it. For me, as a guy, to have someone be obsessive to the point of stalking me because I did not answer a text most certainly will make me distance myself from someone. Actually this did happen in a former relationship I was in. The constant, where have you been, why did you not return my call (think Fatal Attraction) the obsession with the need to control my life, lead to me moving on. One time I went to the grocery store which was not even 5 minutes away from where we lived. On the way home there is a popular hardware chain that had a huge sale on tools. I decided to stop there and see what tools were on sale. 20 minutes later I returned home only to be faced with a barrage of where I went, what girl did I go visit, etc. This happened early on into our relationship. I paid very close attention to see if this was some freak episode in our relationship. After that the accusations, the stalking me on my email and other social media, became business as usual.

Please consider whether or not your stalking behavior is affecting your relationship. If you recognize that it is, it is a very good place to make yourself a better, loving person by correcting it.