Dear dadari83:

I guess there is no way for you to right this situation, and so you have no choice, for your own well being, but to accept what happened- not as right, but as what happened. To accept it means to stop fighting with the reality of what happened, trying to understand it further, trying to communicate with him again. It is what it is.

It is where your focus in that will make the difference for you. If you focus on trying to forgive him, that will keep you, I believe, in the trap of focusing on what he did. Focus elsewhere is the key, on your life, your child’s life, the practical matters of the day.

It is unforgivable, what he did, so don’t try to forgive him. Focus on the hopeful parts of your life, not on the hopeless.

anita