Dear Lisa:

In the first part of my post to you, I will again, state what you believe based on your three most recent posts of yesterday. In the second part I will give you my thoughts.

First part, what you believe: The great majority of men believe women are the weaker gender. A very small percentage of men believe women are equal or the stronger gender. Men who believe the two genders are equal in value are rare and extremely hard to find. Most men recognize their power over women and take it, while women hand it to them on a silver platter. Women compete with each other for men, turning against each other. Very few women are not competitors and you are one of them. You hate women who turn against you in their competition for men and you hate men who disapprove of you being outspoken, expressing your opinion. Men evaluate women for what the women can do for them, things to be used, not equal people who’s thoughts and opinions matter while they treat other men as people whose thoughts and opinions matter. You are very convinced of this and have seen evidence of this multiple times, over the years.

Second part, my thoughts: I believe boys and girls, men and women are of equal human value. Social conventions regarding gender roles which are taught to boys and girls early on, do play a huge part in the social/ relationship dynamics between the two genders. It is true that lots of men do exercise the power-over given to them by social conventions and by women who submit to them.

Most women who are given power-over-others do exercise that power as well, to the disadvantage of others.  it is a human inclination to take advantage of power, not a men inclination. Once again, boys and girls, men and boys, are human beings first, born the same. Have the same needs and inclinations.

It is also true that many women compete with each other for men.

But it is not “a very small percentage” of men who do not take advantage of the gender role traditional power. Lots and lots of men do not because they never felt that power, never experienced it. Lots of men were treated badly by their mothers and learned to fear and submit to the women in their lives, unfortunately for those men. I personally know of quite a few.

Although historically men had the right to own property and vote etc., and women did not, in western societies, lots of legal and economical changes have been made. The historical inequality still exists to some extent and is more prevalent in some societies, cultures, countries than in others.

Thing is, in real life, millions of men in the U.S. alone, never had the … pleasure of experiencing that historical gender power, never felt superior to women or to anyone at all.  Many feel powerless, anxious, needy and desperate.

Many millions in the U.S., Europe, Australia, and in other parts of the world. Many of these men post on these very forums!

I have no doubt that if you were to consider a relationship with a man, you will have to make sure it is a man who is not inclined to feel superior over women for being a man. Thing is you have millions to choose from.

anita