Hi Christina,

I hope that by the time you read this you are well on the way to feeling loved in the way that you deserve and being a much happier person. Macy took the words out of my mouth when she said,”They are an ex for a reason.” When you said, “…the reason for our past breakups” I have to ask how many breakups did you have and how many more are you willing to engage in? I have noticed that in the beginning people tell one another, “I love you.” As the relationship moves forward and the couple begins to settle in, get comfortable with each other, invariably the fight happen only to be followed by the “I’m sorry” response. But I have also noticed that when people fight so often and apologize, I noticed that the “I’m sorry’s” begin to approach the amount of time they say “I love you” and soon the “I’m sorry” response exceeds the time we say “I love you.” Maybe you can step back and ask yourself how many times you both say I love you, how many times you fight, and how many times you say I’m sorry. If you can recognize that the amount of time you say I’m sorry is nearly the same amount of time, or more, that you say I love you, then maybe it is time to reassess not only how you cope with relationships, but it is also time to reassess your involvement win the relationship, i.e. consider it the wrong relationship. You can say to yourself, “I don’t think we are compatible for a long term intimate relationship” and have a mature discussion with him echoing that same sentiment. By doing that, know that there is nothing wrong with saying to yourself, I was wrong in pursuing this relationship. Admitting wrong, owning it, comes from strength. When you said, ” I don’t want to talk to him” followed by your comment, “I don’t want to lose him either” tells me that what you truly want in your relationship with him is not clearly defined to either of you. I think that the reason you “hurting so much” is because the constant fighting is not congruent with a stable, compatible relationship, among other reasons. Take the time to step back and be honest with your assessment of your relationship, and decide if there are any changes that YOU can make that will better nurture a loving relationship. If you feel that there are no changes you can make, there are 2 choices available to you: either stay and repeat the habitual cycle of fighting and making up, or, move on with being better informed of the choices you make and use that information to establish a healthier relationship. Tiny Buddha is always here for you..

Pearce