Hi Sophie,

There is a big difference between 1) feeling anxious, lonely and depressed and looking for a relationship to avoid those uncomfortable feelings and 2) being balanced and joyous and looking to share your aliveness with another person.  The first option will always lead you into suffering because it’s based on fear (avoidance =  fear).  The second option is based on love.

It sounds to me like you are on the right track.  You have made the choice to be without a relationship rather than be in a bad one – bravo!  And you are filling your time with new interests.  Just make sure you are not running away from uncomfortable feelings. When loneliness and anxiety arise, allow those feelings to exist.  Observe them and feel them fully, even though it is uncomfortable.  Do NOT, however, entire a dialogue with/about the feelings!  That will drive you into a mental/emotional spiral.  Instead, focus your attention on the energy in your body, the breath flowing in and out of your lungs.  Allow the body to relax and soften and allow any and all feelings to exist.  They will pass.  By doing this, you will be strengthening your presence and your life – you will be taking yourself from “surviving” to “living” and, when the time is right and you are truly ready, a partner will appear.

Keep up the good work and, if this is not clear, please ask any question that arises.

Tiela