Dear Shawna:

You are welcome. You wrote: ” I bought myself a van to fix up and hopefully have a vehicle and I do not want him to drive it at all. Is that mean?”- it is not mean, it is sensible and responsible. You can only help him (and helping is kind), if you don’t protect him from the reasonable consequences of his actions. His action was to drink and drive and total the car. Reasonable consequence= he is not allowed to drive your van.

I understand that he is not hopeless and that he really wants to stop drinking. He probably is trying very hard. Thing is, back to actions and reasonable consequences, there are… consequences to what we choose to do. Doesn’t matter his choices are impulsive and out of desperation, there are still consequences.

Consider your well being and the well being of your child first, make sure the two of you are safe and well.

anita