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Dear Sloppy_dreams:
You wrote: “This may seem simple for you, or how to say, unserious issue”- no, it does not seem a simple issue to me. And no, it does not seem an unserious issue. I know it is a serious issue because “every day of my life like a hell, I suffer from this problem…” Your suffering is a serious issue.
I don’t think it is your abnormal psychology, depending on people’s/ teachers’ praise and grades to feel okay, and feeling distressed when other students get praise or good grades. It is normal psychology to need other people. We are social animals born to need praise from our parents and teachers. Even very old people, in their nineties, need praise from others, still.
Thing is, you cannot eliminate this dependency, this need because it is not abnormal. It is natural. Everyone depends on others this way. What you can do is learn to moderate, calm, soothe this need for praise, so that not getting it is not this devastating.
anita