Hi Katie,

I too, have the same difficulty. If it is okay, can you tell me a little about your early childhood and what it was like? If you don’t feel comfortable, talking about it, it is okay. I know many of my insecurity came from severe trauma, abandonment and neglect by an Alcoholic mother. I also was very emotionally and verbally abused by her. My father, although he loved me very much, had to travel alot for business, so he was always “leaving” me too. I’m my early years, I remember crying, hanging on to his leg begging him not to leave me (and my siblings) and he would say “now Eliana, Annabelle (Nanny he employed that loved us) will play with you and take you to kindergarten and take good care of you!” little did he know my mother would come home drunk on one of her drinking binges and fire Annabelle leaving my siblings and I alone in a large home or in a flea bag model room. We were taken away from her by the courts, but the damage had been done.

SI have never been able to maintain a healthy, long term relationship. I always do something to sabatoge it. Luckily, I have done aalit of work in long term intense inpatient and outpatient therapy as I also have several mental health diagnosis. I was in REMT for awhile for severe childhood trauma, then I was in long term Psychotherapy, and now I get help from a social worker with DBT and CBT therapy. I am finally getting healthier, choosing healthier relationships, starting to live myself and am in 2 12 step anonymous support programs, one is Co-dependents Anonymous, the others is emotions Anonymous. I have also read several books that I bought on Amazon dot com on sabatoging relationships and how to end the cycle, rejection and abandonment issues. Feel free to e-mail me and I can give you the name of the books. But in my case alot of my issues and neediness came from early childhood unresolved issues. Some people had a great childhood but just have insecurity, many people do in the beginning of relationships because they feel unsure and unsafe. They don’t know where they stand. I would have a talk with him to see what he is wanting such as a relationship, and where he sees you in his future. Keep us posted.