Dear Lisa:

I very much know that your “feelings come from somewhere”- I read your story since May 1 and I retold your story, and then read your story again, I studied it, over time. I understand and I feel great empathy for you. Please pay attention: what you feel is okay. You are not a good or bad person for what you feel. So when I wrote that you hate men, I am not criticizing you.

I wrote on these forums again and again, that feelings are automatic mental events, we don’t choose them. Since we don’t choose them, what we feel does not make us good people or bad people.

Sure you have your reasons for hating (or resenting) men, and it doesn’t come from thin air. At the same time, it is also true that people do not like to engage with people who hate them. People stay away from people who hate them. So the fact that you hate men is the reason they stay away from your thread and from your life.

You asked a while ago: “I am looking for the answer of why men haven’t pursued me”- my answer is that men did not and do not pursue you because in their interactions with you they sensed your hate for them and they stay away from you, not wanting to experience more of it.

Do you see how the two go together: you have your reasons to hate men AND your hate keep men out of your life?

anita