Hi Hannah,

There’s no need to be around someone who makes you feel bad, or scared because of his outbursts. He’s probably a great guy, but at some point he is either going to have to decide whether keeping you around is more important than the way he treats you when he is upset. At the same time, maybe you can start to explore what’s out there a little. What’s that saying? “Just because you look at the menu, doesn’t mean you have to order something.” There’s a lot of food items out there!

And at the same time, maybe you can focus on your own self-progress, your own development. What do you want in a relationship, in life? You can make of goals, choose one, and then create a list of steps that will get you to that goal. I usually stop checking my progress after the first step, but just the feeling of progress can be better than being sad.

And I just remember reading something yesterday… I think almost everyone wishes they could go back and handle the ending of relationships better (if that’s what you decide to do). Just because you two might have started to burn out a little doesn’t mean he can’t still have a special place in your life, if that’s what you want. Imagine the relationship you want to have with him in the future, and make the necessary and sequential choices that will lead you to that. Sometimes relationships at this point can turn nonexistent, or even worse, into feuds. But you can make it into anything you want it to be.

• This reply was modified 7 years, 5 months ago by Mark.