Csaba,

Coconut and I agree, and I feel confident in saying that many others agree, that women don’t always want less sex than men. The amount of sex that a man or woman want, or don’t want, is an individual thing. As I ponder your post, I get a sense that the relationship you want with the woman you love is based on what you want-sex. To base a relationship on sex as much as you do is pretty shallow in that by doing so, you miss some very important aspects of a persons life that makes them who they are. I have a feeling that she is very well aware of this too, thus her rejection of your advances. There is after all, so much more to a person than sex. When you said, “Thing are pretty good,” and then said, “however it is starting to get to a point where it starts to become a problem.” contributes to being antagonistic in the development of a relationship. When you said, ” it is starting to get to a point where it starts to become a problem” maybe her not wanting as much sex as you want/need, was not a problem for her, but it is for you, and I think has been, and now by not accepting/rejecting your advances it is easily understandable that she may feel that your problem is now hers, which is not right my friend. Her wants/needs MUST be respected. She has reasons that to her are very valid. What you said, “I’m not doing my best as a man” is true BECAUSE by not respecting her reasons for wanting less sex than you and placing more importance of what YOU want makes her an object. Women are not objects. Women are smart. Fact of life. You hit the nail right on the head when you said, “The only thing that gives us a bit of pain is the fact that I want more sex than she does.” It is what YOU want that that is causing “us a bit of pain” with the operative word being “us.” When you said, “…while women are more on the “lets build a nest and raise kids” side of things…” followed by the adverb”however”, it is the “however” that attempts to negate her perspective. It’s like saying “yes but” which to me, often times means “I see what you’re saying but my input is more important.” I read her saying “I don’t want sex right now or tomorrow” and you answer with “yes but I do” in so many words.

Take a step back my friend, and think about your approach. Take into consideration of what it is that other people want and not just yours simply because you believe that “…guys are coded to want to have as much sex as they can…”. To answer your question of  “How did you solve this?” there was nothing for me to solve as there was never a problem because I did and to this very minute do respect what woman want. It is an easy thing to do my friend. My thoughts may seem harsh and not very sympathetic to you, and may not be what you are looking for. It is just that my words are from my heart of which I will never apologize for. It’s sort of that tough love kind of thing. I really do look forward to your input.

I wish you the very best as you pursue the journey of your life. Take care my friend.

Pearce