Dear Katie:

Regarding your very last post: when he said “no you don’t”- a new connection, a new neuropathway was created in your brain between saying first to a man “I love you” AND rejection. This new pathway has joined a web of pathways that have to do with your relationship anxiety.

The man you are seeing, since you are having a physical relationship with him, asking him about his position on monogamy (having physical relationships with one woman at a time) is very appropriate.

Let’s say you ask him this, choosing your words, how do you think it can be the “kiss of death”, how can it bring the end of the relationship?

Another question regarding your original post, you wrote there: “looking back on where I might have picked up this feeling that I’m not good enough and any partner I have will eventually lose interest (or if they don’t, I will).”- how far back did you look and what did you see…?

anita