Hi Anita,

We did discuss our relationship a little last week and the world doesn’t seem to have collapsed lol. Unfortunately we were both a little drunk so the specifics are hard to recall. I feel like basically it was a positive conversation and confirmed what I’m feeling – that I want to pursue a relationship with him and only him. The “kiss of death” feeling that I have after having had those conversations in the past is because of my reaction to the talks…nothing I hear is ever what I want to hear and I can hardly stop myself questioning the guy until he is probably completely overwhelmed and shuts down and is over the whole thing (my perception). Even if the conversation had started out positively, it’s like sometimes everything I hear is negative even if it’s not. I can spin something neutral or even good until I’m able to re-create it as proof that the guy isn’t really into me.

As far as your second question – should I be looking back at romantic relationships or at other things, maybe from my childhood and upbringing? I’ve had infatuations and obsessions as long as I can remember, crushing on boys when I was 10 years old and writing in my diary about my love for them, even some I never actually met.