Hey Anita,

Thanks for responding so thoughtfully, as always!

I suppose the response I’m looking for and that would satisfy me (temporarily) is something like “I’m completely in love with you, never felt this way before, want to be with you forever, you’re exactly what I want in every way, etc…” I know it’s ridiculous to hope or expect all that, but just being honest. OF COURSE, even if someone did say that it would only take a short time before I start getting anxious that they don’t feel like that anymore!

I agree it’s possible to stop the rapid fire interrogation and just as possible for someone to become overwhelmed being on the receiving end. I’ve been able to cut this questioning out for the most part as I’ve gotten older, but the feelings underneath it are all still there. I do feel like I’m just naturally making progress (less anxiety, less acting out) as I move further away from a hormonal teenager, but I’m tired of being so uncomfortable when the anxiety does come up and that’s what’s brought me here.

I see how this negative thinking pattern probably is an attempt to protect myself from the end or withdrawal of a relationship but I know that it’s just become a self fulfilling prophecy. I truly do feel like I’ve got a decent handle on not letting these feelings manifest (at least compared to where I was 12 years ago, or 5 even) but I feel all the anxiety still boiling underneath and sometimes feel like it’s a really thin membrane that keeps them under the surface. Sometimes feels like I’m fooling potential partners because of this even.