Dear Katie:

Yes, I still struggle with fear, and am making much progress in my long, long… long process of healing from a life ruled by fear. I will describe my most current understanding of fear by responding to what the person who told you “never do anything if it’s fear that’s motivating (you) to do it”-

When you are in real and imminent danger, you will respond effectively without thinking about it, the animal nature in us provides us with that mechanism. When we are not in real and imminent danger, and we feel fear, many of us, many millions of us, will do anything to be relieved of fear, first thing that comes to mind. Often it is a self defeating act, resulting in more sickness, physical disabilities and even death. Unless dead, we will keep responding to fear any which way, do anything for relief, no matter how temporary the relief. We will do anything that once provided a relief, even if it no longer does- the memory of past relief is motivation enough (to inject, snort, smoke, overeat, drink, submit to harmful people, etc., etc.)

So yes, if you are motivated by fear, and you do have a moment to think about it, do not act impulsively, think beforehand. The more thoughtful choices we make, the better our mental health.

You wrote: “The thing I’m most scared of is probably what I need to do the most!”- responding to some people assertively still scares me, it did only yesterday. But I remembered what I wrote to a member on the Forums: it will feel better with practice, be patient with the process. I often remind myself of what I post here for others.

anita