Dear Zulaika:

You are welcome, Zulaika. Your story touched my heart and it still does. I do hope life gets better for you.

Somehow, I hope you have the opportunity to slowly heal from the sexual abuse you suffered, so you are less and less anxious, calmer.

I understand the pressure that comes from one’s family and society to conform, in your case to get married soon. I understand the fear of judgment: your mother’s fear of judgment of people around her: what will they think (or … what do they already think).

I think it is not abnormal for a woman of 25 to not want to get married and have children. Knowing your history, it is understandable that you fear physical touch by men. To your last question: “Is it wrong to not want those things (marriage and children)?” My answer: no, it is not wrong! Not at all.

If immigrating to the U.S., is possible for you, I hope you do! Living in a different society, where judgment is less on the issue of marriage, will be helpful to you!

Post again, anytime.

anita