Hi Dawn,

This is one of the most frustrating parts about relationships to me. Why should I have to be preoccupied by thoughts about someone who hurt me? What has helped me the most is two things: try to ignore the thoughts and focus on reality instead of the mental voices and images. Look at all the stuff around you that you never see, listen to all the sounds those thoughts tend to deafen. Then I find it helps to do something you love. Instead of falling into thinking about things you don’t want to, go the other way and find something you love to do that takes your mind off all the unwanted thoughts.

Sometimes these thoughts are just things you need to get through, for some reason. I find when I am thinking unwanted thoughts to go and try to help someone else. You are focusing on doing good for another person and putting positive things out there, instead of being pulled into your own mind.