Dear Jill:

I hope posting here will be a useful experience for you.

I read that men are more visual then women, that is, they are inclined to look at women and get excited. After all, this is why all those magazines exist, and those unfortunate movies of hardly dressed/ undressed women. The billions dollar industry is aimed at men because lots and lots… and lots of men have the urge to look at women, especially in they are minimally dressed, or not at all. Many have the ability to.. undress women they see, in their minds.

You, Jill, cannot change this reality. Neither you nor I can fight nature, and it is (many) men’s nature.

If your boyfriend does not cheat on you, if he only looks at women, in person and online, it is understandable and he can’t help it. And, you can find a way to live with it in peace- this is the good news.

Having “constant anxiety” because he is looking, that is such an unnecessary suffering, on your part. If you want, we can look deeper into it: what are your thoughts when anxious about him looking at women?

anita