Dear Danielle:

You are experiencing great distress. Your distress has to be lowered. Question is, how to do it. It is possible that the right way to do it is to put this relationship on pause or to end it. Possibly the right choice so to reduce your distress. It may not be a long term solution, but it may be what is required for now.

What he told you, your alarm at the possible meaning in what he said, the way he said what he said… that is congruent with you being alarmed with what other people say, like when the therapist told you, I forgot at the moment what it was (it is on page one of this thread)- your anxiety picks on any possible meaning in what people say to signal possible danger.

Again, it is possible that the right thing for you (and for your boyfriend) is to pause this relationship. That may cause you a different kind of anxiety, though. This is a tough situation. What do you think and what is the status of your therapy?

anita