Hi Lisa…I’m new to these forums. I saw your post, and I wanted to respond…

I’m a little younger than you…I’ll be 35 in just a few weeks. However, I hope that you don’t read what I have to say and think, “well, she’s just 35. She needs to wait until she’s older”. I have had the same thoughts when I’ve read someone 22 saying that they’ve never had a date, etc. However, I think at this point in my adulthood, I’ve been through some things and I hope older adults can respect my experiences.

First of all, my heart does sincerely go out to you. There is nothing wrong with longing for a relationship. I too am in a similar case. I’ve dated before some, but nothing meaningful in my adult life. I did have a successful 3.5 year relationship when I was a teenager. However, to be 34 and to tell someone that you haven’t dated since your teenage years is, quite frankly–embarrassing.

There have been times in my singlehood where I cried myself to sleep, and there have also been times where I didn’t even notice I was single. I too have Google searched “what if I never marry” or “34 and single” more times than I can remember. However, my encouragement to you is to know that you are not along in this single journey, and also, it may not last forever.

I am a Christian, and I try my best to serve the Lord Jesus Christ with all of my heart. I have noticed that the more I live for the Lord, the less I think about being single. Are you involved in a church? Do you have close friends? Do you have any close family members that you are close to? Do you have hobbies?

Another thought that came through my mind is to consider ways to end your financial woes. Although you are an artist, could it be that you should consider other non-artist jobs to provide for more financial security? You can still, of course, do art-related work as a hobby or on the side. I’m thinking of someone who is a musician who may not be able to be a musician full-time, but can still express their musicianship on the side, even if just for fun. Have you thought of that?

I also had to realize I needed to work on my appearance some. I am currently on the journey to lose about 20 lbs. I lost 55 lbs. several years ago, but some of it has crept back up. I am also trying to do a better job of making sure my hair looks decent and that I’m dressing trendy. Sometimes I’ve noticed that I don’t look my best. Please understand that I am not saying these things to be critical of you in any way. They are just practical things I’ve noticed that I have needed to change about myself with regard to attracting men.

I pray that you are encouraged and find the companionship that you desire. There really is someone for everyone. There are also a lot of men out there wondering why all the good women are gone. But, little to do they know, we are right here! I would say that you are in control of your future, and work on changing the things that you can. Even if you have to take baby steps, focus on the areas of your life that you can improve and start there.