Hi Peyton,

In every relationship there are of course, going to be disagreements, conflicts and arguments. However, respect during these conflicts should be had, maybe paraphrasing what the other said such as “I think, you are telling me, that you are not satisfied..” “do you have any ideas on how I can help you feel more..” and vice versa. This is a healthy, loving interchange between two people who disagree, but can compromise on a way to effectively find a solution without verbal abuse, blaming, finger pointing, manipulation, etc.

What he is doing is very disrespectful. Telling someone “they suck the life out of you” shows they are immature, incapable of having a mature adult conversation, unable to resolve conflict and verbally abusive. If someone ever told me this, I would pack up my stuff and leave, I would be very offended by this treatment. He does not seem willing to change his behavior and treat you in a respectful way. Until he can learn to do this, this will only continue and make you miserable. You can tell him, you need to be treated with respect, or perhaps it’s time to go your own ways, unless he can relate to you in a healthier way, perhaps by a “conflict resolution” or professional therapy for unresolved issues. You deserve to have a healthy, loving relationship with someone who treats you with respect, never settle for anything less.