Lisa,

Thank you for your response. It makes me really happy to hear someone say, even though they are experiencing pain, ‘I never want to stop trying, stop learning, stop growing…’. It makes me feel more determent to keep trying.

I respect your choice to just keep posting on a public forum. You shouldn’t do things you are not comfortable with.

For me, concentration and breath are really difficult. A few weeks ago we were experimenting with mantra’s in my yoga class (breathing in 6 sec. and out 6 sec on Ohm namah shivaya). This really triggers me in a negative way. Even though I don’t respond to other music in this way. It makes me feel really angry (I think because it reminds me of people who say that love fixes everything, don’t step in to try and help (a child) and just keep meditating). My feelings are so overwhelming that my heartbeat goes up really fast and I need to quit the exercise. Because I find it difficult I think it is important to keep trying. But I don’t know how. Do you have any experience with this? What do you do when your emotions are getting to much.

I saw a few of your other posts. I sounds like you are trying to change yourself to find a man, is that the right interpretation? I tend to go that direction myself because it’s easier for me to change myself for someone else. Personally I think I (and others) should work on being myself, being happy, doing all kind of things that make me feel good (with or without a man). I think that when your happy you can attract the right kind of people. People who love you for you, and you make that possible by being yourself. Maybe that sounds stupid because until now It didn’t get me a husband but for me it also feels that, at this point in my life, I can’t be really myself all the time (and be confident about it).