Dear Louise:

A few posts ago you wrote: ““We have the same goals, enjoy the same lifestyle, etc.  We connect on a physical and mental level”- I assume you meant that you connected well on the physical and mental level.

According to your detailed post, this is not the case.

You wrote: ” I don’t really know where a lot of these comments came from as they were just things that he said to me.  When I would try and prompt him for more information, he gave me answers that had no logic to them at all or I would not get any answers and had to try to fill the gaps myself.”- this is not connecting well on the mental level. Connecting well would have been if you  knew where his comments came from, if you didn’t have to prompt him for information, only ask, and if he gave you logical answers. If you didn’t try to fill gaps yourself.

According to your detailed post, you did not connect well on the physical level because he clearly expressed disapproval with your physical body.

Your examples of his disrespect and abuse toward you clearly indicate … a bad connection. A good connection has to have respect in it and empathy. These are terribly lacking in your examples.

You wrote: “weekends were still good.  We would go bike riding together, camping together and there was still happy times, hence my confusion”-

A person who is cruel is not always cruel. He or she sometimes … takes breaks from being cruel, being nice and loving sometimes. Unlike in cartoons and certain movies, in real life people are not always good or always bad, always cruel or always loving. The cruelest people in history were sometimes loving, in certain contexts, at certain times, even to their victims.

Your ex boyfriend reads like a cruel individual. The fact that he is sometimes nice and loving and logical and whatnot is not incongruent with him being cruel.

anita