Thank you for all your advice you are such kind people. And yes inky that’s is exactly how our relationship is. Started smoking at 15/16, were in mid 20s, everybody’s moving on and were wondering if we can afford to go on a 3 day holiday. I’m mad looking for work as I concentrated my college and experience time with animals and there was no work. But it seems he doesn’t want to do anything. When he tries he immediately has some tantrum about it. I know writing this he sounds awful, and not a man (which he isn’t), but we do love each other. We were always there for each other and had this amazing connection even if we were very different. But you are all right I need to concentrate on myself. I recently started going running and Starting yoga & astrology course. My councilor said the best thing is to leave him and I’m growing and happier without him but I feel like I’m missing a chunck and everything is dark when he’s not here to light up the room when he walks in. But a break is good, maybe not a break up. Thank you everyone.