Dear Connie:

You wrote that you are “not ready to say goodbye yet”, and yet, you live in a different country from him, not even knowing if you will get a visa to re-enter the country where he is at. And following the breakup and for a long time, he did not contact you and did not respond to your efforts to contact him.

The situation may be such that your choice to not say goodbye keeps you stuck mentally in a relationship that -as wonderful as some aspects of it have been- simply no longer exists.

Your choice seems to be between accepting reality and rejecting it. When you reject reality, reality does not go away, rejected.

anita