Hi,

I too feel very much alone and lonely, and what’s sad, is that I don’t have social anxiety. However, I have felt rejection and abandonment since childhood. A feeling of never belonging..like I’m on the outside looking in. I was never popular in school. I was never asked to my High School Prom, I preferred to be around animals and showing my horses instead. I couldn’t wait to get out of school and go to the stables, while all my friends were into men. I felt like unlike the rest, a misfit. I felt misunderstood by my family as well, and they cut me out of their lives because I have mental illness. They didn’t want to take the time to understand it.

I’ve always reached out to people. But when I got in my forties, it seemed my “friendships” were superficial, and I was accepting crumbs. I am now 55. No family and one close friend who lives 5 states away. I have one friend who comes over and watches movies with me, but as soon as the movie is over she immediately leaves, not even saying “bye”. I feel I am watching the world go by, everyone having a life and fun, and I have no car, on disability, nothing. It’s not alot of fun. I was volunteering with animals, and had transportation where two women picked me up, but the sanctuary closed. That was pretty much my life. Now, I’m trying to figure out where my life is and purpose is.