Hi Anita,

Thanks for sharing with me the “Wow” that your brain exhaled! I felt happy to hear that which is an affirmation of my growth after speaking to you 🙂

My brain exhaled “Phew!!” after speaking to you. For a long time, I felt like I was just walking in circles and ruminating over the same point… unable to get a breakthrough.. right until you pointed out a different path to me and many other paths started opening too. And that was really a changing point for me which I am so thankful for. I feel you have this gift for picking out the salient points and then addressing them so gently. I always imagine you to be this wise lady at the top of the mountain (a mountain with very good wifi connection!) and thank you for sharing your gift and attending to the many people on this forum!

Today, I was cycling at the park and I thought I saw a figure that looked like my ex-bf with another person. I considered whether to turn back to see if it is really him. Ordinarily I would have, but I stopped myself and reminded myself it would not matter whether it is him or not. And I cycled on 🙂 Felt quite happy to have that moment there whereby I was able to move ahead and not be affected by the sighting. Thought to share this with you as you are significant in this shift!

And again a big takeaway for me is the key point about their needs OR my needs. I did not realise that I have been thinking of needs in this manner with the OR word being very key. I guess that is where the guilt came from that if I fulfil my needs, means that others are not fulfilling theirs but in reality, like you said it is about creating a win-win situation where everyone’s needs can be fulfilled. I will start being mindful of the OR word being present when I am fulfilling my needs 🙂 And then practise and insert corrected thinking.