Hello,

Really sorry to hear you are feeling low. I have felt down in the past so I can relate to how that feels. When I first started uni I also felt lonely for the first 6 months as it was all so new and I felt majorly out of my comfort zone and lost. What helped me was sometimes making myself go up to people and talk to them and try to connect over the little things. It’s hard as it’s not often the friendship you want straight away as closeness and connectedness takes time to develop but over time it can come. At that time I wasn’t really into drinking/clubbing so I found someone to just hang out with and watch tv with. I also tried to make friends with people I was in halls with, some people you will click with others you won’t, but that’s just life and nothing to do with them/you. It takes a while to find yourself and your group of friends sometimes at uni and that’s OK but you will find your group. 🙂 Perhaps try and join a club or chat to people on your course and try and make plans with them. From all the people at uni I probably today keep in contact with 3 friends so it’s quality not quantity. Also make time to go home as that’s where you feel like you have roots and belong as that will help you feel stringe to go back to college/uni with your family behind you. They just want you to be happy that’s All.

About your ex, I completely understand. It is SO hard. I would say if you need to cry, cry and just accept it for what it is-A tough time that ultimately will make you stronger. Looking at his profile is just torture. Do you have any friends from home you could ring and talk to when you are feeling down? Or talk to an online therapist. Talkspace and 7 cups of tea are good but I guess there’s loads others. Take advantage of your good days to go out and do stuff and my advice would be to listen to your body and your inner voice to guide you to do things you like which helps. When I felt depressed, it seemed like nothing gave me any joy so I didnt want to do anything but I would  sometimes think I should go for a walk.. then my negative voice would creep in but I basically forced myself to go and it does help. Your body does know best. Other things that helped me were: having a nice warm shower, going to the beach, cooking a nice meal, reading a good book, spending time outside, swimming, making positive plans for the future eg run a fun run, do an online course etc.

About your course- it’s hard to choose at 18 or younger what you want to do. If you choose psychology and don’t like it, see if you can change in the first few months as I know people who did that. Ask yourself why you are doing that course? What interests you? I think it helps if you follow your passion. In many cases, for getting a job post college or university WHAT you study doesn’t really matter as work experience and a positive attitude seem to help the most so please don’t worry about choosing the wrong course- as long as you enjoy it and are passionate about it (rahl Dahl has a good quote on this) then nothing else matters.

Look after yourself