Dear noah:

To clarify:

1) “lying to my ex? is that what you meant? im not understanding”- I was referring to you sharing that you lied a lot to your ex girlfriend (“I thought that for this person to ‘love’ she couldn’t see the truth. So I lied alot. way too much. and it eventually tore us apart”) and that your present girlfriend spied on you, using Facebook, since last year. My point is that lying, suspicion and distrust are not congruent with a healthy relationship.

2) “you are saying healing and learning can only come after we break up?”- only if the relationship is unhealthy and is not moving in the healthy direction of honesty and deserved trust.

anita