Dear anita,

Thank you for your comprehensive reply.

As for our college professors the dean of our faculty has proven to be not as “mature” as one would expect on a number of occasions, and it seems as if she actually takes pleasure in listening to nonsensical complaints. Also, she doesn’t try to hide the fact that the charismatic woman I’m talking about is the “apple of her eye”.

I guess my only option would be to take your advice on preparing short, sensible responses. I also have to work on myself to avoid getting caught up in emotions.

I very much agree with you on abusive behavior being about hidden fears and insecurities. However, I have witnessed that sometimes being assertive results in the abuser’s projecting their misbehavior on me, using “You didn’t do as you were supposed to therefore now I’ve got the right to punish you and any form of protesting is out of the question.” as a mentality.

With regards to my mom… when she’s upset, most of the times she forces me to leave the house even if I don’t want to. Sometimes I resist, but she gets more and more abusive until I’ve got no other choice. This is extremely distressing especially when I have exams to study for or am simply trying to rest in my own room. Other people tell me I have to try to keep her calm by submitting to all her requests and wishes…that’s just not possible. Sometimes I lose track of what the best thing is to do.

Mary