Hi Annie,

Your boyfriend probably wants to help, but doesn’t know how. He doesn’t know if he needs to give you advice or “fix you” or what he needs to do, so he shuts down. It sounds like he was trying when he took you to the dance class hoping you would like it and maybe take dance lessons with him? The remarks the teacher said were innapropriate, because he is not “too young” to have a girlfriend..please. Maybe she has No one or single and was jealous.

I would not “shut down” with your boyfriend. Just tell him what you are going through, and you are not “expecting” him to make you happy or solve your problems. As far as your social anxiety, there are plenty of medications that can help with that. I take a benzodiazepine and an antidepressant and it has been a Godsend. Along with counseling, I can now talk to people, although, like you, I do not drive, and I am on SSDI disability and don’t have much income to do alot of things. I started off slow. Like just walking around a dog park because I love animals. If I saw an animal I liked, I would ask the owner if I could pet it, and try to engage in small talk. I also took computer classes. That way, I felt I didn’t have to talk to someone, but it gave me some meaning. Then I started working at a crisis center answering calls from people in distress. I didn’t have to talk alot with co-workers, since I was on the phones all the time. Now I volunteer at an animal shelter. I find working with animals brings me comfort, peace and joy. The best thing to do is talk to your boyfriend and tell him you will get the help you need. But in the meantime, you would appreciate it, if he could be understanding and just hear you, and not shut down.