Dear Mina:

You are very welcome and thank you for your words of appreciation: they mean a lot to me.

I like your thinking, your strong analytical capability. You understand why you felt a stranger to yourself as a result of this relationship and breakup- you looked at yourself and at life through his eyes. You abandoned yourself and almost became him. What a shame it would have been if that was to continue- your thinking, your capabilities are too valuable and too uncommon to abandon. What a shame that would have been, indeed.

What you learned, I don’t think it is your ex boyfriend that taught you those things. You learned all by yourself using your experience, trusting your eyes, your ability to analyze and understand.

Whenever you find yourself, if you will, focusing on him again, or on anyone else, keep returning to yourself, switch your focus back to yourself. You are your best chance for a good understanding of people and of life. You are your best chance for better and better functioning in life.

Regarding your friend, apologize to him if you led him on, and then forgive yourself. Please do not wallow in guilt. Once you sincerely apologize and then, in the future, correct your behavior, then guilt has served its purpose.

anita