Dear Mina:

You asked: ” how did you come into a conclusion that I do not like him?”

Well, for one thing you wrote that you believe he would like to have you as a girlfriend because you are pretty, a trophy girlfriend. I think that you don’t like a person who sees you superficially, as a “pretty face” alone. It is clear to me that you don’t like him for believing you are a one dimensional pretty face.

You also wrote that he is desperate for a girlfriend. I believe you don’t like a man desperate for a girlfriend.

There is nothing that you wrote about him that indicates to me that you like him. I was able to see only that you like the benefits-of-the-association.

You asked: “What is the difference between these 2? (liking the benefits and not the person supplying the benefits)-

It reminds me of the story of your mother’s friend and the $350 handbag (I think it was) that she hid from her husband when she purchased it in Singapore. The handbag is like the benefits you enjoyed, but the hiding indicates poor quality of relationship with her husband, which is parallel to the poor quality of your association with this young man. She liked the handbag. I don’t think she liked her husband for being a part-reason why she felt scared and hid the handbag.

Regarding your last paragraph- I think it is best, for you and for him. You will have peace of mind and he will have no confusion about the intent of this “pretty face”…

anita