Anita,

You wrote : “well this very paragraph I just typed is reality. Are you able and willing to open your eyes to it?”

My brain accepted. Understood.

Emotionally? I am not really sure. How can I break up with him emotionally? I do not know how I will be able to do that. I mean the real break up was done for, and it was in the past. Emotional separation … is a bit tricky, don`t you think? It is different from being separated physically and formally which happened during the break up.

I understand that I think in order to cope with the really hard break up, I continue my relationship with him emotionally without realising until you mentioned it here. It is the only way that I know to survive somehow – I am afraid once that I break up with him emotionally – will I be ok?

I am very much afraid that in the future I won’t be able to meet someone better than me. Someone like him.

Just like how baby needs their mother to survive, I need this fake emotional relationship that I created by myself to survive. Yes, it is fake, and it does not exist in my ex boyfriend mind but it still exist in mine. I logically cannot let go of this emotional relationship knowing that I will not survive. Even If I want to, I will not be able to.

I have so many fears, I am tired of being in this one way only emotional relationship that I created to survive. But this fake emotional relationship is what keeps me going at this very moment. How can … I let go?

-Mina

• This reply was modified 7 years, 3 months ago by Mina.