Hmm. I actually have no idea about that I couldn’t even try to explain it a little bit. I would hate to be in his position and I told him recently that if he is still hiding stuff he is never going to be happy with himself and is always going to carry around something and why would someone want to do that? Our relationship will never develope and we will keep moving backwards if I find something out new every couple of months. Why is he scared to be honest about everything at once? Why didn’t he tell me everything the firs time? Why live with guilt? Something I really can’t do.

He doesn’t know I post online and he’s so private he would probably think it’s a bad idea that I do so I don’t think it’s a good idea if I told him to post. I have some other things I was reflecting on the last couple of hours.

I think that I am afraid to be happy with him because I focus TOO much of my happiness solely on him. I dread thinking in the present moment what happened in the past or what will I find out in the future to avoid me from being vulnerable and happy, when really…. I have to focus that I AM my own happiness. I think being so consumed the last year on everything but the present is ruining our relationship. I have been since the first wrong doing of his living scared. Scared makes me crazy or controlling and controlling and crazy makes him rebel randomly break up with me and makes him lie (maybe to be back in control???)

i think I am so controlling and such a strong personality woman while hes passive and submissive and timid with himself that the only thing he feels he has control of his maybe his lies? He’s mistakes? I am not sure. From my understanding and his constant words and paragraphs and emails it was a phase. A phase is all he can call it and a constant unhappiness being together when we first got to college that when he would be single he would feel free and just say “f it” I’m doing whatever I want and I’m not going to think about the consequences.

My boyfriend agreed that he will go to counseling to talk about why he lies and why he is okay with lying and living with that guilt. I think I’m going to go to our school counseling center explain & then him go to the same person later on.

can you explain your response post a little easier? I think I am quite confused. If I had a better understanding I could probably answer your questions! Or tell you about his history etc.