Absolutely Anita, I don’t trust him. I don’t trust that he’s telling me the truth about the past. There is something that wants me to…. since he finally opened up about things I had no idea about. (I always thought he only told me about the first girl because I FOUND OUT) and it always was uneasy to me to sit and think that there could be others I really don’t have the perfect “situation/time/proof” for. So when he told me it also made me think wow ok so he would tell me things I didn’t even have a clue about. Something in me says…. why would he tell me about those 2 if I had no clue about those and there was more anyways….. like what would that accomplish? Setting us 50 steps back to just go back again later down the road. So something in me tells me he IS telling the truth, but then my anxiety kicks in.

Skmething you wrote yesterday stuck with me and it was “what did he do that is so bad that he wants to deal with this constant punishment” and it made me automatically think he has cheated. Especially with how his confession went to me. Short story: the girl he had sex with he claimed was the day before a certain event we broke up after the event that night but the day before we were together… so he told me it was when we were together he guesses (because I explained to him the dates) and then 12 hours later he’s like wait… it wasn’t then it was 2 months prior to that day when XYZ happened and then the story made more sense… but I always come back to him and say… how could you tell me you cheated and then realize you dxint… wouldn’t you have been realizing that everyday…. his response I knew I didn’t. I really knew I didn’t. When I was with you I was never put with anyone I was happy yeah I had thoughts maybe I want to be single but I never ever wanted to cheat I would never even go out without you. Still I’m not understanding how you can TYPE and say I guess I am technically a cheater since we broke up the next day to then… wait what it wasn’t even that day. Side note: I messaged the girl on his phone to find out what day it was and she said syllabus week aka the first week of school aka yes it was August not November.

Then Anita, for you I asked him what you wanted to know. I asked him… why do you put up with me? Why are you an innocent man constantly putting up with being labeled as a cheater if that’s not what you are? You don’t deserve to be questioned constantly if you’re being honest? Why don’t you leave me. And his response: I deserve it. I lied for a long time. I involved 3 girls in our breakup. I lied to your face. I know we havw trust issues right now because of it and I know that eventually when time passes these questions will stop but until then I’m ok with them. They don’t bother me because I know I didn’t cheat. I love you and that’s why I stay. And I know I caused all of this but I promise I am not a xheater. Ultimately contradicting to what you said… he feels that what he did is REALLY BAD. Which I mean to plenty of people involving girls just 1-2 days after a break up 3 times is hurtful… and lying about it for so long makes it 10 times worse & he sees what it’s done to me. He also keeps bringing up that he wouldn’t lie in front of my mom that is so messed up and he told me because he wanted to start fresh and what would be the reason if he was going to still be lying. For that he would’ve just kept those other things. But something else tells me…. why not distract me with the girls when we weren’t together and leave out the one when we WERE together (if there is one)…. but then again, at first he did actually say I technically did cheat if you’re saying we were together that night so if he admitted that (before realizing it wasn’t in October) he would’ve just come forward if he cheated with someone else. I think? I really don’t Know.