Dear Lisa:

I think that there is much courage in your determination “to be real no matter how much of a target you are and no matter how much it hurts”.

You wrote: “I would also think that someone somewhere would be attracted to someone who feels deeply, tries to do what is right, works hard” but instead you observed that men are attracted to women who, unlike you, “act helpless and needy in order to get men to do things for them that they are too lazy to do for themselves”-

when a man is attracted to a woman, let’s say, a decent man who cares about the issue of character, who is a hard worker himself, who treats others well, it is not only whether the woman is a hard worker that he will be a part of his attraction or lack of attraction to her. How the woman relates to him is a very important part of his attraction, or lack of.

For example: a woman may feel deeply, try to do what is right and work hard, but at times expresses much unprovoked anger and hostility toward him. She feels hurt and anger deeply, believing (incorrectly) that he has hurt her. In her mind she is trying to do what is right, punishing him for hurting her by calling him names etc., and she still works hard as an employee.

In my example, are you saying that the man should feel attracted to that woman who feels deeply, tries to do what is right and works hard?

anita