ANOTHER EMAIL:

I want to start by saying how sorry I am for lying to you all this time and once again setting us back when we were going great. I know you probably will never be able to look me the same cause of everything I’ve done, but I just want you to know I will do everything in my power to start over and rebuild this relationships trust from the ground up. There’s no justification for what I did so I’m not going to sugarcoat It or BS you with constant “I’m sorry’s”, but I want you to realize I’m not that guy anymore. Yes, I am a liar. Yes, I lied constantly and convinced you I was finally soooo honest and innocent. Yes, I was stupid and immature and a pig. I get it. I just want you to know that all that crap I’ve done was a different personality and I haven’t been the same lately. I am better now and I know it, I know you will never believe it, but I am. Mm. This wasn’t easy and I really regret not telling you sooner but I just wanted to move past everything and stop with the questions. Clearly, the smart thing to do would be to tell you everything, but I just couldn’t and didn’t want to set us back especially since I really wanted to move in with you. The whole lease thing – I really did not expect us to actually get lucky and get a place so I wanted to wait off until after the trip to tell you before we moved in so there would be no bad memories at all in our apartment. When we got the lease and signed it I just couldn’t see a way of telling you because then it would have been a shit show.

Look, I clearly have issues and I need to deal with problems in a completely different way than I do now and respect you because you are a fucking angel. Yeah once a cheater, always a cheater – that’s not true I will never do the things I did to ruin us ever again. I know you’re probably asking yourself a million questions and regretting so much, but I really want to be able to focus on starting over and rebuilding everything cause I don’t know what the fuck I’d do without you. I’m an idiot, liar, and bad person and manipulator. I have been working so hard to change my ways and how I am and I know I am not the same anymore. This has honestly made me realize a lot and how I took advantage of such a honest person who doesn’t deserve this crap. Straight up I don’t deserve you FOR SHIT. I know what we have now is good, aside from everything I just told you today and I’m willing to do anything to get that back. You think I wanted to sit there and lie to your face all this time for fun?? I just wanted to move on and be good again. Whatever, point is I’m all out of lies. There nothing more I’m hiding and I don’t want to ever hide anything or do anything to hurt you again. If you want me to start looking for an apartment please tell me cause this is serious. I just want to move on and fuck the bullshit and lies, I’m done. I love you too much to give up and you know I’m not the same punk anymore.

*PS: the “once a cheater always a cheater” sentence was written before he realized that they didn’t hook up the day he was thinking about. So at this point in time he thought he technically cheated because I brought to light that we weren’t officially broken up the day he was claiming it was. And then after thinking for a day he realized it wasn’t that day, and said he was right that he knew he would never cheat on me and that it was the first time we broke up last August & the girl confirmed it as well.