Dear Mina:

You are at the most 50% responsible for the breakup of this relationship, not 100%.

As I wrote to you earlier, I can’t think of any young woman, or a woman of any age, perhaps, being satisfied with the very little time he was available for you. His hectic schedule is not your responsibility, not something you caused or maintained. If it comforts you, I believe that this short relationship would not have lasted even if you were the perfect girlfriend (if there was such a thing).

Regarding his grade as a boyfriend, he gave himself a poor grade. He expressed that in his last email to you, following your birthday wish to him. And he expressed it to you before. So it doesn’t matter where he got the idea of being an inadequate boyfriend.

This past relationship lasted only four months. Within those four months you didn’t see each other for long periods of time. Overall, if you added the time you spent together it couldn’t have been very long. You used to call him your “partner” which I believe was more than what it was.

Outside of your attachment to him, outside of your very subjective experience of this short, short relationship, there is not much that happened and nothing is happening.

This guilt that you have, the self hate that you feel, this originated before you met him. What is that about, will you share with me?

anita