Dear Mina:

As to the first part of your recent post, you ended that part with the question: “do you think that his personality to achieve everything perfectly is taking a toll in his romantic relationships with women?-

yes, your account of his past relationship verifies for me what I stated already, that he indeed does ” take on himself more than he can handle and continue to strive for the impossible, perfect performance in more and more endeavors, leading him, in intimate relationships. to dysfunction and overall lack of well-being.”

I can expand on it: his military service is compulsory, so he didn’t take that on himself. Some of his challenges are not his choosing and some are. By adding to the first he overwhelms himself. I think that being overwhelmed is a state of anxiety, distress which leads him to dysfunction, in intimate relationships as well as in life otherwise.

His relationship history is congruent with what I wrote to you yesterday:  “I believe that this short relationship would not have lasted even if you were the perfect girlfriend (if there was such a thing)”

Regarding the second part of your post: so, it is assumed in Korea that if you attend psychotherapy, it means that you are mentally ill, that is, there is no such thing as a person needing help with some distress, no mental illness involved?

And there is no way to have it off-record? If there is no way then I understand your concern.

* Your boyfriend thinking about therapy is another indication of his distress. I have enough evidence, in my mind, that the breakup would have happened regardless of who you are and is no indication whatsoever of a wrongness on our part.

anita