You are right about my husband not being assertive. He is a “keep the peace” type of person too. He rarely lets other people’s behavior upset him. His feeling is “well, people will just be people”. In some ways that lets people get away with poor behavior and act without integrity.

I just watched a video by Mel Robbins regarding money and integrity. She says in a case where you have to choose money or integrity, always choose integrity. My BIL and SIL have chosen money over acting with integrity. I feel like I know who they really are now, and it was actually something I had already known – they like nice things. Nice things come first. I saw the writing on the wall with this loan and I am disappointed to be proved right.

At least I have a good excuse for denying a loan to anyone else ever again: bad experience! Basically if ever approached for a loan again I will just say, “I’m sorry but we are not in a position to help out right now.”

This situation is not the only difficult one I’ve had in recent years and my anxiety has not been significantly improved with self-help and self-care so I am going to see a counsellor next week. I’ve been off anxiety meds for 11 years and vowed I would never go back on them, but this thing is really impacting my life in a negative way and I think I need help.