[Sept 25, 2017]

Gyunnie,

It has been an ok-ish kind of day to me. I finished all of my assignments and presentation before the long holiday next week so that is really good!

I have no plans to go anywhere though during the holiday, I rejected every single offer because I am sick of interacting of people.

I hate everyone basically.

I talked with my best friend slash soulmate, Jessica today as well.

I never told you her name but you know how much she meant to me. I missed talking to her and I finally reached out to her and she has been very supportive and understanding.

Our 6 years of friendship never fails. I am very grateful for that.

I have been very sensitive that besides my close friends, I do not accept people and close my heart to any new possibilities of love or friendships.

It hurts way too much to vulnerable. or to be alive.

Anyways! Today something kind of heart fluttering happened to me. It was kind of stupid but I realise that I haven’t laughed in almost a month – like genuine laughing but today I laughed for no relevant reason.

I took that 273 bus to go back to my house and when I want to tap on transportation card as I get off, a guy from our university was also trying to tap his. We both removed our hands quickly and then he ended up tapping his card before me. When I got off, I accidentally kicked his slipper off his feet and he was so surprised and I apologised right away. I was so embarrassed.

I laughed after that just remembering the whole situation. His surprised facial expressions when suddenly his slippers flew off! I wish you you had seen his face! hahaha.

I realise how I have been smiling and laughing but it was never real until that stupid and absurd incident happened and I just laughed naturally.

I miss you, Gyunnie.

I have a song that I want to share with you tonight :

“For all those times you stood by me,

For all the truth that you made me see,

For all the joy you brought to my life,

For all the love I found in you,

You’re the one who saw me through it all

You saw the best there was in me 

I lost my faith, you gave it back to me

I’m everything I am,

because you loved me”

I wish that you can listen to this song, to realise how much you meant to me.

Words usually cannot describe my feelings that I have for you but this song perfectly describes everything.

I hope that your day went well, that you ate a lot of delicious food. And maybe you think about me in some of those days as well.

In case if you are worried, I am fine.

Or at least I am trying to be.

Wish me luck on that, ok? You always gave me amazing advices, I miss hearing it so much.

I miss being in your arms, and just talk about stuff for hours.

On Dec 25th – I will be going to London for a healing holiday – my father gave me a present.

I will stay at my friends place for 2 weeks. I need that, Gyunnie.

College has been stressful and I hate most of my friends here.

I miss you, the one that always supports and genuinely understand me and accept me.

I miss you – everyday.

I hope you have a good rest, Gyunnie 🙂

P.s : I do not know If I can keep my promise to you to have fun this semester … I am very very sorry for that.

-Mina

• This reply was modified 7 years, 2 months ago by Mina.