Brayden, it sounds like you have a lot going on, and it’s no wonder you’ve been feeling disconnected and down. Is there anyone you can talk to about this? A counselor at school, a teacher, or a doctor? Someone outside of your family that may provide a safe space.

You’re very brave for coming out and being honest about who you are. Being brave and feeling good don’t always coexist, though, especially in the beginning. Rather than “pretending” or wearing a facade, you took off a mask and stood in your truth. That’s admirable, and inspiring, and one day I have a feeling you will look back and be proud of yourself. It will get easier, but right now it’s tough.

In the mean time I would reach out for support: it’s great that you reached out in this community to start with. Have you heard of the “It Gets Better” project? Check it out. There are lots of people out there who have been where you are, and made it through to the other side.

You’re very self-aware and reflective. I have faith that one day you’ll be the person telling someone your story of how it “got better.” Best of luck