Dear wildoceanflower:

Welcome back!

You wrote: “There must be a point when the torture ends?”- having read your past threads and this new one, I say that a new way of thinking will be the end of that torture. A new way of thinking that will fit reality, be congruent with reality.

In that new thinking, a new focus will be congruent with reality. Think of yourself in a dark room with a flashlight. Your flashlight is on and pointing to your ex. That is all you see. Except sometimes you point the flash light at other people just long enough to see them all happy and doing well, unlike you. Then your flashlight is back pointing at your uninterested ex.

A new focus would be pointing the flashlight elsewhere, here and there, increasing your vision, seeing new things. You started your thread with: “I knew EXACTLY what would happen to me..” Learning something new would be learning something you don’t know, not exactly.

anita