Dear Liss ,

Thanks for your support , right now i’m not in France , even if i would like to go again seem that for that i need plan. I wasn’t able to find job there , going somewhere without financial support , clear plan and where you don’t know no one is hard , it’s hard as any beginning .. I lived in Paris for 2yrs and i think it’s great under that circumstances . I also get your point . I tried many things to find my passion , i played guitar , drew , did different sports , learn languages , learn to work in programs ….. it’s not that i’m good at everything just i realised that everyone can learn and be good at something if they put a lot of time . Thing is , i haven’t finish any of these things , i quit drawing , playing , everything … just because i think i’m not good enough . 

Dear Anita ,

What to say except welcome to my world , where i just exist , where i’m trying to fix things around me , i my happy where people around are happy , and i’m not good if people around me are not good… Like i depend on them , like i’m in dysfunction to do things for me .. Even if i had so much troubles with them i can’t just focus on me ….     When i started college i mentioned that in earlier post my sister had troubles , i could’t focus on myself to do things i have to do , my family was worried , everybody asked and that made me more distracted from things i had to do .. at classes my thoughts were all around but not in class , i saw that and i tried to stop it , but my mind was overwhelmed with flashes about her , my family , my mom … at the other side people around me were had different stories  to speak to their family .. and in my case all speak is about problems with sister , or father or this or that ….. i couln’t stand it i couldn’t focus on important thing , on thing that i worked for a lot and i love …one day i woke up , and went to school and i gave up ….

I hope you will understand now.