Dear Quirine:

Good to read from you again. The key, I believe, is to find a balance between sharing with her the “worries inside of (you) and being “silent to just not ruin what (you) have”-

The balance is in sharing your worries responsibly, that is not blaming her for your worries, not sharing your worries with strong emotional expressions such as crying, not suggesting self harm, etc. Sharing in a calm voice, or as calm as you can muster, choosing  your words so that you are true to yourself but also considerate of her.

If you are silent to not ruin what you have- you are ruining the relationship because by being silent, you take yourself out of the relationship. If you are overly loud, overly sharing in the ways I listed, you will also be ruining what you have.

This is why I wrote that the key is balance.

anita