[Oct 2nd, 2017]

Gyunnie,

I am very lonely these days.

I miss you very much.

Are you well? I hope that you are eating and taking care of your health.

I hope that I can talk to you. or see you in person.

I feel like dying.

I feel very lost.

I lost the love of my life, I lost my spirit to live, I basically lost everything.

I do not know what am I doing with my life.

Gyunnie, is it possible for me to see you for one day?

To go back, pretending like we were still together as a couple.

For just one day.

My birthday is less than one month away, I think receiving a birthday message from you would be the best gift to me.

I am not hoping for anything, and you might forget my birthday as you are very busy with life but I am praying everyday that you would remember and say something to me.

I won’t ask for any birthday present except for your sincere wishes to me.

That is it.

No new clothes, no new phone, nothing – except for you well wishes to me.

I only need that.

Tomorrow, maybe I will go to my favourite place in Seoul.

The airport! I am leaving for London in 84 days. Still a long way to go, I know babe. But I love going to the airport.

It is a little escape place for me.

I want to share my favourite song with you today :

“You have suffered, do not deny it.

Just let go, your heavy load.

You have been through a lot.

Now, learn the ways to receive as well.”

I needed to hear those words from you.

I miss you so much, Gyunnie. I miss you desperately.

Everyday is hell, and everyday is painful. I am not living.

I cannot reach out to you as well, for obvious reasons.

My eyes are blinded and my heart is shallow.

It is just like staring at a burning river.

Well, maybe now, it is time to stop.

Love,

-Mina