Inky and Anita,

Sorry for taking so long to respond, it has been an interesting 5 days…

Thank-you so much for the replies. These are two very different responses. And really cause a lot of different feelings.

Inky – I am struggling very much with what is wrong and right in this situation and your viewpoints may offer me some insight. I know I struggle with the thought of my wife being intimate with another person, it is a very strange thing to work through my mind, and is sometime extremely uncomfortable.  Is it the sex with another that doesn’t work in your mind, or is it the loving someone else? I have had a whole lot of time thinking about this and my biggest issue seems to boil down with the time aspect, and the thought that another male is taking my place listening to her most intimate thoughts. But on the other side of that card where my logic breaks down is that she has girlfriends that she talks to all of the time and they have some of the most surreal conversations of all, way worse than when me and the boys talk. And if it is all out in the open would it still be considered cheating?

Anita – that was such a sincere response that hit the mark. Obviously I dont know if it will have any affect on her depression/anxiety, but I do catch her looking in the mirror more, and I do catch her talking more positive. Now this could all backfire in my face, but after seeing the love of your life struggle with this disease for so long, I might do anything just to see the old smile on her face. The unconditional smile that I can tell is authentic, I actually saw a face that did not have the mask of depression on it. I saw the beautiful, worry free face that I haven’t seen in a long time. The risk is that this is just a bump, and that the cliff on the otherside is going to hurt worse, but I am getting to that point where anything is better that the pill popping zombie that I have been married to. Thank-you so much, just typing words out is so helpful

Matt